Special 2000 US Election Jokes:
SOUTH FLORIDA VOTER : The chickens were clearly confused as to where the dotted yellow line was leading. The only other option was to cross the line, so they did.
VICE PRESIDENT GORE : I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them. Did I mention that I invented roads?
GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH : I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.
SENATOR LIEBERMAN : I believe that every chicken has the right to worship their God in their own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in their own way.
SECRETARY CHENEY : Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need help crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road myself.
RALPH NADER : Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tiremakers. Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tiremakers to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens.
And the rest...
Gerald R. Ford : It probably fell from an airplane and couldn't stop its forward momentum.
Jean-Paul Sartre : In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
Joseph Stalin : I don't care. Catch it. Crack its eggs to make my omlette.
Karl Marx : It was a historical inevitability.
Saddam Hussein : This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Saddam Hussein #2 : It is the Mother of all Chickens.
Darwin : It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
Darwin 2: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
George Bush : To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of headlights.
Lord Baden-Powell : To earn a road crossing Badge.
Margaret Thatcher : There was no alternative.
Oliver North : National Security was at stake.
Pat Buchanan : To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
Richard M. Nixon : The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.
Ronald Reagan : I don't recall.
Louis Farrakhan : The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
John Locke : Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.
John Sununu : The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.
President Clinton : I did not, and I repeat, I did not have sexual relations with that chicken.
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