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Historical Chicken Jokes


Aristotle : To actualize its potential.

B.F. Skinner : Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.

Carl Jung : The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

David Hume : Out of custom and habit.

Douglas Adams : Forty-two.

Epicurus : For fun.

George Washington : Actually it crossed the Delaware with me back in 1776. But most history books don't reveal that I bunked with a birdie during the duration.

Hamlet : Because 'tis better to suffer in the mind the slings and arrows of outrageous road maintenance than to take arms against a sea of on coming vehicles...

Johann Friedrich von Goethe : The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

John Constantine : Because it'd made a bollocks of things over on this side of the road and figured it'd better get out right quick.

Julius Caesar : To come, to see, to conquer.

Ludwig Wittgenstein : The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

Machiavelli : So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Malcolm X : Because it would get across that road by any means necessary.

Martin Luther King, Jr. : I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Martin Luther King : It had a dream.

Neil Armstrong : One small step for chickenkind, one giant leap for poultry.

Plato : For the greater good.

Richard M. Nixon : The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.

Sigmund Freud : The chicken obviously was female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the crosswalk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she was envious, selbstverstaendlich.

Sisyphus : Was it pushing a rock, too?

The Sphinx : You tell me.

Hippocrates : Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

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