Newton Chicken : Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket!

NT Chicken : Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.

OS/2 Chicken : It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.

Win 95 Chicken : You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like ...chicken.

Mac Chicken : No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.

Bill Gates : I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross roads AND balance your checkbook, although dividing 3 by 2 will get you 1.4999999999.

Microsoft Chicken (TM) : It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.

Java Chicken : If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets!)

Basic Chicken :
10 A$="Chicken"
20 B$="Road"
30 A=
31 REM need variable to get chicken to move
40 B=
41REM need variable that shows what happens
50 C=A/B
51 REM I still need those variables!
60 RIMSHOT$="Ba Dam Ta TSSSH!"
70 ?"why did "A$
80 ? B$
90 ? C
100 ? RIMSHOT$

C Chicken : It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken : The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.

VB Chicken : USHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)

OOP Chicken : It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

Assembler Chicken : First it builds the road ...

Delphi Chicken : The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

Web Chicken : Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

Gopher Chicken : Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

Lotus Chicken : Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!

COBOL Chicken :
0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
PERFORM
0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1
UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING